Parents of a child or young adult with a developmental disability sometimes find
that caring for that individual at home is more than they can handle. Historically,
when they needed help, parents had few choices: foster care or institutional care. But
both choices meant losing the parental role in their child's life, putting him or her in
a strange and frightening new environment, and taking the permanence - the"wholeness" - of that family away.
Shared Parenting helps keep families together by providing an alternative to
long-term out-of-home placement.
This program is based on the concept of parental support. It provides relief to
highly stressed families and offers consistency to the individual, without terminating
the parental role. Parents of a child with a developmental disability recruit one other
family to be the single respite source, and in effect, share the caretaking role.
Once they are accepted into the Shared Parenting Program, parents must recruit
co-parents. The most common recruits are friends, family members, neighbors, teachers and
classroom aides. The family makes the final choice on who they would like in the role of co-parents.
The family arranges the scheduling of care, within a maximum of
108 days -per year. The time can be arranged in blocks of hours, or overnight arrangements - whichever is best
for all concerned.
Co-parents must be willing to make a commitment to the entire family - to help care
for and nurture the child or young adult, and to accept him or her as a part of their
family, as well as maintaining an ongoing communication with the parents and family of
that individual. Co-parents must learn about the individual's disability and be willing
to provide a part- time home. A co-parent must be ready to support their new family
member, both emotionally and physically. A short trial period is mandatory before a commitment
is made.
The Green Family:
Like most parents, they love their daughter Ann. They get her up in the
morning, change her diaper, get her dressed and feed her. They wash Ann's face, comb her hair
and brush her teeth. They carry her to her wheelchair and read to Ann before the
bus comes to pick her up. It's a routine that Ann and her parents have followed for 16 years.
When Ann was younger, the Greens could leave
her with a neighborhood babysitter and enjoy a quiet evening out. Family vacations were still possible.
Ann wasn't so heavy then, the wheelchair wasn't so cumbersome then, and people were
more accepting of them then.
The Greens want to keep Ann at home. She's part of the family; a part of them.
But it's becoming more difficult, and they can't find enough respite help to provide
for their family needs.
They heard about Shared Parenting through their social worker and contacted The Arc
of Oakland County.
Working with a project coordinator, the Greens recruited "co-parents",
another family to provide love and laughter, nurture and care for Ann.
Finally, there seems to be an answer.
The Richardson Family:
There's always enough love for one more child.
When the Richardsons got the call asking for help, they weren't really sure they
could care for a child like Ann who had so many special needs. They needed to find
out more about the Shared Parenting Program.
They learned that they would receive any necessary training to care for Ann, and
that any special equipment that Ann required would be provided by the Greens.
The Richardsons knew that they would work closely with Ann's family and the
project coordinator to develop an individual care plan that would allow Ann to grow in a
loving family environment.
The Richardsons called a family meeting and it was decided that they would care for
Ann for a trial period. Three weeks later, Ann came to spend the weekend.
Ann is a part of this family now. A very big part of their life, and a part of their love.